


Mad Air On The Half-Pipe

by LeyenarTheAvenger



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Star Trek: Into Darkness, True Love, that's me with both Spirk and Vhan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25048225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeyenarTheAvenger/pseuds/LeyenarTheAvenger
Summary: Basically what would've happened if I owned Star Trek.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, Khan Noonien Singh/USS Vengeance
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Mad Air On The Half-Pipe

**Author's Note:**

> This was done in an attempt to participate in this year's T'hy'la Bang, and is also my third AO3 original.

It had been six months since they defeated Nero. The Enterprise and all her crew had become close during that time. They completed each mission perfectly. Well, as perfect as you could get with such a daring and rule bending captain. They were currently on planet Nibiru. It was beautiful, everything covered with a bright red flora. Their mission statement was to simply observe the primitive, pre-warp species. But, finding out the whole race was about to be wiped out by volcanic activity, Jim decided they should take action. He had a beautiful soul like that. He couldn't just let them become extinct. He and Bones were to distract the Nibirans while Spock would plant a cold-fusion device called the Eruptor Interrupter at the center of the volcano, set it to detonate, then get the hell out of there. It was simple; in theory.

McCoy and Kirk sprinted across the planets surface, swamped in clothing to stay hidden. The Nibirans were hot on their tail. "Jim, why in God's name did you take their sacred scroll?" the doctor panted. Jim grinned and tried to trip his friend. "Take him instead." He shouted, then laughed. Did he ever take any situation seriously? Bones slapped him on the back of the head and ran faster. They ditched the scroll in a tree once they had cleared the 'red zone', then threw themselves from the cliff's edge.

Once back on the Enterprise, Kirk jogged onto the bridge with McCoy in tow, both still trying to catch their breath. "You crazy son of a bitch, Jim." Bones rasped, weakly slapping his friend's shoulder and earning a sloppy grin. Kirk glanced around, immediately noticing that both Sulu and Uhura had returned, but Spock was nowhere in sight. He felt a knot form in his stomach and frowned. He was about to speak but was halted by Scotty. The man was ranting and raving about it being, 'incredibly hard hiding a starship at the bottom of the ocean'.

"Scotty! Where's Spock?" Kirk interupted. Scotty's gaze lowered to his feet. "He's still in the volcano sir." He mumbled, glancing back up and seeing panic set in his captain's eyes. "The line snapped and they could nae get him out. The shuttle began to stall, they had to return." Kirk moved to Uhura. Before he could ask, she opened communications for him and nodded.

"Spock!" He called, the desperation thick in his voice.

The Vulcan coolly replied. "Captain, I have activated the device. When the countdown is complete, it should render the volcano inert."

"Yeah and that'll render him inert!" Bones snapped.

Kirk growled. "Look, someone find a way to beam Spock back up and do it now!"

He watched as his crew bickered over what to do. They couldn't risk being seen and they couldn't risk getting caught in the volcano's explosion. It wasn't leaving them with much choice. Spock spoke again, "Captain, I must remind you that, under no circumstances, are we to be seen by the indigenous species. Whilst our shuttle was concealed by the ash cloud, the Enterprise will not be."

Kirk sighed. "No one knows the rules better than you Spock, but there has got to be an exception."

"No. Such action violates the prime directive. You must leave... The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few Captain, it is only logical."

Kirk's voice broke. "Spock. Please. Don't be like this."

"Captain.. I am sorry."

Kirk couldn't reply, he was freaking out and couldn't draw any more attention to the fact. The crew started bickering again and he began to zone out, withdrawing into his reeling thoughts. _H_ _ow can I just let Spock die? Why did I even allow him to be the one to go down there? It's too dangerous. I should have known something would happen. I should have gone myself! Argh! And how can Spock just accept death so easily? Stupid Vulcan. Stupid, perfect, Vulcan._ When he stopped questioning everything, his thoughts shifted, wondering over their memories together. A specific one flooded his mind. The first time he truly felt something strong for Spock. 

_~FLASHBACK~_

They were in the midst of the Nero incident. Vulcan was being attacked. Kirk and Sulu had shut off the drill and narrowly escaped death. They crashed down on the transporter pad, just as Spock was leaving. "Clear the pad, I am beaming to the surface." the Vulcan commanded. They jumped down.

"The surface of what? Wait.. you're going down there? Are you nuts? Spock... you can't do that!" Kirk choked out, still struggling for breath. He heard the word "Energize" and without thinking, dived on to the pad next to him.

They materialized on Vulcan; the planet was shuddering and falling apart. Spock gave Kirk a fleeting, curious look, then sprinted into the Katric Arc; a chamber very sacred to the Vulcans. They could beam neither in nor out of it, which was the reason for Spock's near-suicide mission in the first place.

They found his parents and the rest of the high council taking refuge there. The room was shuddering and debris began to litter the ground. Spock persuaded them to leave and lightly held his mother's arm to guide her out. Jim thought it was beautiful how much he cared for her. 'So he does feel.' He thought. They left the crumbling building together, dodging falling debris from every angle. Kirk saved two of the elder Vulcans by pushing them from harm's way.

When they were outside, they spread out, each standing a metre apart. As they were waiting to beam up, rocks started breaking away. Spock's eyes were staring passed Kirk's shoulder and widened with fear. He reached out in panic as his mother was about to fall. Jim's breath hitched. In a split second he whipped around and lunged forward to grab her from the air, throwing her back to the group. As he did, the ground crumbled beneath him too. Time seemed to stop as his panicked eyes locked with Spock's beautiful, fearful, brown ones. As he began to fall, Spock ran forward. He felt the Vulcan painfully grab the scruff of his shirt, catching his skin with his nails. Everything went black.

When he opened his eyes, he was met with a blue material and the skin of Spock's neck. He was stood back on the Enterprise. He thought for sure that he had slipped out of range and wouldn't make it home. But there he was. Safe. His breathing was rigid and to his surprise, so was Spock's. Kirk was being held flush against the Vulcan's chest. One arm was wrapped around his waist, tightly gripping his shirt and the other was fisted in his hair. After a short while, he felt the intense grip on his head loosen. Instead, fingers lightly brushed through his soft locks. He wasn't sure Spock actually realised he was doing it, but he wouldn't lie, It felt amazing. He shut his eyes and breathed a soft sigh on the Vulcan's neck, causing him to shiver.

Eventually, their breathing normalized again. Spock hesitantly pulled back to look into his eyes. Kirk was surprised by the raw, mixed emotion he could see in the Vulcan's brown depths. Shock and Curiosity seeming to be the main ones. Spock moved away to check his mother was alright. Kirk instantly missed the touch, missed the feeling of being safe and warm. Spock turned to face him again. "Thank you." He said warmly, before straightening his uniform and moving to escort the high council out of the room. His mother left his side for a brief moment to approach Jim and place a kiss on his forehead, then left.

As much as he would deny it, he'd started to fall in love that day and, eee-oh-boy, was he going to fall hard. 

_~END FLASHBACK~_

He blinked back into awareness. His fingers moved to touch the faint scars on his collarbone from when Spock had saved him that day. He growled. He couldn't let his first officer die, not a fucking chance in hell. He couldn't be without the yin to his yang. He slammed his fists on the comms unit. "Spock, we are coming for you god damn it just hold on!" He was met with static. "Try to get him back!" He shouted, then gave everyone their orders. It was time to bring the Enterprise up and get their first officer back. He would deal with any repercussions later.

Spock stared at the raging magma and the fires dancing around him. It was both terrifying and beautiful. As he waited for the end, his captain entered his mind. Oh how he adored every logical and illogical second with Kirk. He felt pained that he wouldn't get to see him again. Wouldn't get to see those beautiful blue eyes again. Eyes that reminded him of the most crystal clear Earth oceans. Eyes that always sparkled as he laughed. He was pained he wouldn't get to brush his fingers through his captain's soft golden hair again.  
He scolded himself for acting so human. It was completely illogical. He closed his eyes and spread his arms out, waiting for the end, only to receive that familiar feeling pulling on his body.

He reopened his eyes, discovering that he had indeed returned to the Enterprise. Jim raced in to the room a second later, launching himself into Spock and knocking them to the floor. "Spock!.. Are you.. alright?" He panted.

His first officer removed his helmet. "Captain, you let them see our ship." He stated, looking most displeased.

Kirk laughed, that usual glint shining in his eyes. "Yeah yeah. But really, Spock, are you okay?"

"I was adequate until you flatted me Captain."

Kirk grinned and helped Spock back to his feet. "Well, I'm just glad to have you back safe, commander."

"Oh wonderful, the hobgoblin actually made it back before you died from a cardiac arrest. You just can't function for five damn minutes without the insufferable Vulcan." McCoy teased from the doorway.

"Bore off, Bones." He glared. He turned to give his warmest smile to Spock before leaving the room. He had to attempt a believable captain's log that would keep them out of trouble.

* * *

They did get in trouble. Really, really, really big trouble. Spock had turned in a very honest report which resulted in Admiral Pike grilling them both. 

The second Kirk was finished with his failure of an argument, he had stormed off to the nearest bar. He stared at the glass of whisky, his thoughts running wild. _How could Spock do this? Break us all up? He just needed to tell a little white lie is all. Stupid pointy eared bastard! Stupid, gorgeous, pointy eared bastard. Ugh, why do I have to feel for him of all people? He's an idiot! I'm so done with him. I should have left him in the damn volcano._ He slammed his left fist on the table and downed the drink; asking for another. He drank a second, then a third. He was beginning to feel the warm effects of the liquid, though not too much.

Glancing to his right, he eyed up the girl next to him. Why not, she looked interested. He always did this. He'd get drunk and then sleep with random women just to keep himself busy and forget whatever bothered him. He couldn't even remember what happened come the next morning. Just as he was about to chat her up, Pike sat down between them. Kirk rolled his eyes at the man and ordered another drink.

"You know, I've been made captain of the Enterprise again." Chris started.

"Oh congratulations. Good luck with that first officer of yours." Kirk bit back, swirling his drink around.

"Actually, you'll be my first officer. Spock is being relocated to another vessel. You know, It was hard getting Marcus to agree, but I just told him the truth. That I believe in you and that if anyone deserves a second chance, it's you. I don't want to see you fail son."

Kirk looked surprised by his now-captain's kind words, then smiled and pushed the drink away. He was still angry, but it was mainly the overwhelming sadness that he wouldn't get to be around Spock or his crew anymore which made the situation most unbearable. He swallowed the feeling down when Pike received an emergency call and they made their way to Starfleet headquarters.

As soon as Kirk stepped in the building, he watched his ex-first officer approach him. It seemed that glaring daggers at him wasn't enough to warn him away. They carried on walking as they spoke.

"Captain." the Vulcan started.

Kirk sighed. "Not anymore Spock, it's first officer now. I've been demoted and you've been reassigned."

Spock felt pained by the outcome, but didn't dare mention it. "Sir, it is fortunate that the consequences were not more severe."

Kirk snapped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Captain, it was never my intention to.."

" _Not_ captain!" Kirk growled.

"You will always be my captain, Jim." Spock retaliated.

Kirk's heart skipped a beat at the admission, but he briskly squashed the feeling back down. "Would you stop with the cutesy sh*t, Spock? Come on." He complained.

Spock quirked an eyebrow "Cutesy...sir?"

"Look, I get that you're trying to apologize. I do. I also get that you love to follow rules. But I'm not always like that. Where I'm from you don't stab someone in the back after they save your life."

"Jim, Vulcan' cannot lie."

Kirk scoffed and stopped in his tracks. "Then I'm speaking to the half human part of you. Do you even know why I went back for you? Do you know why I couldn't let you die?" His eyes were pleading, almost begging the Vulcan to lower his damn shields for once.

They were interrupted by Captain Abbott who began introducing himself to Spock. The Vulcan hesitantly acknowledged his transfer. He couldn't think of anything worse than leaving the Enterprise. Abbott quickly left again after feeling the thick tension between the two.

Kirk sighed for what felt like the thousandth time, then rested his hand on Spock's shoulder, absentmindedly running his thumb along the material. "Look, all I'm going to say is that.. I'm really gonna miss you." He murmured. For the first time, Spock was truly speechless and it really showed. He looked like a fish out of water. He didn't know how to appropriately respond. After a long pause Jim rolled his eyes, dragged his hand back and stomped off with a huff. Obviously, he was expecting a warmer response, or _any_ response for that matter. The Vulcan couldn't help the pang of guilt he felt over the entire situation. He would need to amend things when given the chance.

Marcus and various Captains' and first officers' were gathered around the large round table that had no center. Jim took his seat by the window. Spock opposite. Admiral Marcus began explaining the situation. The terrorist attack on the data archive, 42 people killed, how an officer was forced to do it by a rogue colleague called 'John Harrison'. Images flicked across their PADD screens. Every now and then, Jim would glance up at Spock. The Vulcan was always staring back. It sent a pleasant rush through him, but he kept a lid on it, re-focusing on the meeting.

Marcus began wrapping up his speech and finalizing plans, when Jim had a thought. He tried to ignore it, especially after Pike tried to quiet him, but the Admiral made him voice his concern. "Okay so why the archives? It's all public knowledge. I really think this is just the beginning." He mused. Marcus raised an eyebrow. "Beginning of what?"

"Sir, protocol mandates that in the event of an attack, that senior command gathers all all captains' and first officers' right here at this HQ, right...in this room." He trailed off towards the end and everyone started speaking among each other.

Kirk stood up. His face went pale at the realization of what was coming. Spock saw this and stood too. Their cautious eyes locked. Suddenly, a blinding red light flooded the room from the window. There wasn't a second to waste. "Clear the room." Kirk screamed. He launched himself over the two tables and threw himself at Spock, knocking them both to the floor as shots and glass showered over them. He didn't stop to speak or even look at the Vulcan. He rolled off and sprinted out of the room, praying he wouldn't be shot so he could try and stop this _asshole_.

Spock stayed to aid any casualties. There were bullets and debris flying everywhere. He tried to pick up two people, but they were already gone. He turned to see Captain Pike was struggling along the floor. He moved to grab him, but it was too little too late. The captain was fatally shot. He avoided fire, grabbed Chris and pulled him out to another room. Pain and fear riddled the man's face. Spock knew there was nothing he could do. He hesitantly placed his fingers on Chris's face. He wanted to offer him some peace in his passing and to see what he felt; out of morbid curiosity.

He didn't like the experience at all. The fear, pain, regret and loneliness that immediately flooded his mind was overpowering. It began to calm and Pike was trying to tell him something. _Take care of him._ He felt Chris murmur through the link. Beautiful images of Jim and his bright smile passed through his mind. He gave a nod. ' _always_." he promised. The fear in the captain's eyes became peaceful, there was a silent thank you in them. He took his last shaky breath and he was gone. Spock simply sat there staring. He was still overwhelmed and felt an awful dread about Jim finding out. He was aware they were close.

Kirk found somewhere he could get a clear view of the jumpship and sprung to action. The phaser he was using wasn't doing much to halt it. He had to settle for something else. After some thought and frantically searching, he grabbed a firehose and tied it to the phaser. Using all his strength he threw it in to the intake port. Perfect shot. It churned up the whole thing, ripping the entire unit from the wall. Kirk dived to the floor as it slammed inches from his body, then flew out the window, taking out the small ship. As it began to twist and fall from the sky, Jim got a good hard look at Harrison. They locked eyes, Kirk's burning with hate. Harrison smirked and he was gone. The bastard had managed to somehow beam away. The jumpship crashed into the side of the building. Jim rubbed his hands over his face then ran back. He was dreading something, but never expected the sight he was greeted with. Spock was kneeling over Chris Pike's dead body. His blood ran cold. He ran over and collapsed next to them. His old friend, mentor, someone he considered a father figure was.. gone.

Pain completely flooded him. He clutched at the captain's shirt and rested his head on him, spilling tears onto his unmoving chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Spock broke at the sight. He reached out to hold Kirk's shoulder in a half embrace. Kirk turned and buried his face in to the Vulcan, letting his sobs fill the air. Spock stiffened up at the sudden contact. His shields were incredibly damaged, but he wanted to comfort Kirk, so he sat there and accepted it. After a few minutes, Jim recomposed himself and stood up. He placed his hand on Spock's shoulder, giving a long squeeze in thanks, then staggered away.

He ran into McCoy who'd rushed there after receiving the emergency call. The doctor hugged him tightly, checked him over then ordered him on medical leave for a few days. Kirk numbly agreed and sent the doctor away to help the injured.

* * *

Back in his apartment, Kirk stared at the ceiling. His thoughts were still reeling from the events two days earlier. He still hadn't slept because of the nightmares that plagued him whenever he tried. He rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock. 18.58. _Almost 7? Such a wasted day._

A few days medical leave was pointless when you had nothing to do except laze around with your tortured thoughts. He had received so many messages from his friends but he ignored them all. He heard a light knocking at the door. He already felt it would be Spock. The Vulcan had most likely finished his meditating and wanted to check on him. He trotted over and answered tiredly. "Mr. Spock, what can I do for you?"

Spock felt pained by what he saw. His captain's usually gleaming eyes were dull and lifeless, he had dark circles under them. He didn't look well. "Captain. We have been quite concerned. Are you taking adequate care of yourself?" He questioned.

Kirk sighed. "Firstly, _not captain_ , secondly, as adequate as can be under the circumstances. Care to come in?"

Spock entered; he had a game of chess propped under his arm. Kirk smiled and slipped it from him, moving to the couch and setting it up on the table. "You know, this doesn't mean I've forgiven you, you pointy-eared traitor." He scoffed. The Vulcan raised an eyebrow at the derogatory reference. "Well, Jim, it is how you would say, your loss." Came the cold, sassy reply. Kirk chuckled deeply. S _tupid Vulcan._

They played for a while; Kirk seemed to keep getting lost in thought before halfheartedly resuming again. 

"Checkmate." Spock called out.

Kirk's eyebrows furrowed. "You what?"

"Checkmate, sir."

Kirk looked at him, then the board, totally bewildered. His thoughts calculating into realization. "You devious son of a bitch!" He grinned.

"Jim. I would not deceive you. Your thoughts were simply elsewhere and please do not refer to my mother as a female dog."

Kirk howled with laughter at the comment. The familiar spark returning to his eyes. The Vulcan felt pleased with the sight. "You know I don't mean that Spock." He grinned.

They were interrupted by a harsh knock on the door. "Jim, you insufferable idiot, open up!" McCoy shouted. Kirk chuckled and moved to answer.

"Man, you look like doo-doo. Sorry I couldn't get over here sooner." Bones exclaimed, walking in. He eyed Spock up. "I see the hobgoblin already arrived."

"Good to see you too Bones, however, It's you who's insufferable." Kirk teased.

"Seriously, when was the last time you slept? You look like crap." The doctor complained.

Kirk sighed. "The night before sh*t went down at HQ."

"Two days? Dammit Jim, I'm giving you a sedative!" The doctor scolded, pulling out a hypo spray.

Kirk yelped and sprinted to hide behind Spock who was still sat on the couch. "Don't think your green blooded bodyguard will stop me." He laughed.

Spock interjected. "Doctor, there must be a natural alternative to this physical attack. I believe the Captain is already under a great deal of stress and this could be detrimental to his mental wellbeing."

McCoy rolled his eyes, but actually placed the hypo away. He thought for a while before speaking. "Okay lets stick on an old fashioned boring film and let him drift off that way."

Kirk left his hiding spot and winked at his ex-first officer in thanks. It sent butterflies racing through the Vulcan. McCoy selected a film and sat on the opposite end of the couch to Spock; patting the space between them for Jim to join. The blond went to sit down. "No. Lay! You're going to sleep, doctors orders. I want you fit for your medical exam tomorrow." McCoy demanded. He pointed at Spock. "You take the end that bites." The Vulcan raised an eyebrow in question.

Kirk rolled his eyes and lifted his feet onto his friends lap. "Are you at least gonna massage me honey?" He cooed to Bones, pinching the doctors cheek. "I will if you piss off to sleep!" He hissed, swatting his hand away. Kirk breathed a laugh and leant back, placing his head in Spock's lap, looking up into the Vulcan's eyes. _Curiosity_. Of all the emotions he ever saw in Spock, curiosity was the most frequent. "Do you want me to move?" He asked the Vulcan. "If it will aid in replenishing your physical and mental energy, then I shall tolerate it." Came the cool reply. Jim chuckled again and let his eyes slide shut.

Spock turned to study McCoy. The doctor was now squeezing Kirk's clothed feet whilst watching the film. Friends did incredibly strange things for each other. He looked down at his captain's peaceful face. He was 99.86 percent sure that Jim had succumbed to sleep already. His breathing was soft and even. He must have been exhausted. Spock didn't want to give in and touch him, but his fingers were aching to dance in that hair again. He hesitantly reached out and let them brush slowly through the silky golden strands. Jim moaned softly and snuggled closer to him, causing a light green blush to form on the Vulcan's cheeks and ears.

McCoy watched them with warm eyes. "You love him, don't you?" He asked softly.

Spock continued to play with the soft locks without looking up at him. "What would make you assume that doctor?"

"I just see how you are with him. You take care of him, you guide him, you rarely leave his side."

"It is my job as his first officer."

"Come on. Look at you now ruffling his precious hair. You're not on shift and I bet that is so against Vulcan standards. Oh wait, you're not even his first officer anymore are you and he's no longer our captain. You are here completely off your own back."

"He is still my friend and I shall always see him as my captain. I would rather not work under anyone else. I refuse to comment any more on this illogical conversation doctor."

McCoy chuckled. "You know. I honestly don't know what he would do without you. He likes you too you know. I can see it as clear as day."

"Of course he likes me doctor, I am his friend."

"No, he _likes_ you, Spock." Bones insisted.

The Vulcan frowned. "If you are insinuating that the captain has romantic feelings towards me, then you are sorely mistaken. He has had many female interests and has never expressed this emotion to me. Only that of friendship."

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Spock, for someone that is half human, you sure have a lot to learn about them." He didn't gain a response. They continued to watch the movie in silence until McCoy received an urgent call and had to leave. "Sweet dreams buddy." He whispered in Kirk's ear. He ruffled the Vulcan's hair and laughed at the displeased look he received. He hastily left.

Spock was gazing at Jim again. ' _He is so...beautiful._ ' He mused. He was thoroughly enjoying the feeling of the golden hair slipping through his sensitive fingers. He could feel the tingling warmth travelling into them from the simple touch. He imagined what it would feel like to properly touch his captain's bright, beautiful mind in a meld. He thought back to his conversation with the doctor and breathed a sigh. As much as he tried to deny it, _I am in love with you._ He thought. He would never admit it out loud.

He moved off the couch without disturbing Jim. He went to find a blanket for him and tucked him in. He sat on the floor by his side and studied the perfectly imperfect human once more. As he was about to get up and take leave, he heard a whimper. Then another. Spock felt a lump in his throat watching Jim suffer through his nightmare. The panicked gasps became too much so he gently tried to wake him. Kirk's eyes snapped open, he sat up and violently lashed out but Spock caught his arm before it hit him. "Jim. It's only me." He murmured.

His ex-captain looked away. "Spock. You're still here! I'm so sorry." The Vulcan let go of his arm. Jim wrapped them around himself, withdrawing.

"It is nothing. Would you care to discuss it." Spock softly asked.

Kirk sighed. "There's no point in even beating around the bush. When I was thirteen, I was one of the undesirables on Tarsus IV. I have nightmares now and then. They're significantly worse when I'm stressed."

Spock was taken aback by the sudden admission. "Captain. That is not stated in your file."

"Yeah well, I deleted it. It was horrific, I didn't need anyone knowing. But Chris, he was the one that arrived and saved us. He's the one that helped me get out of a bad place and enter Starfleet Academy. He's the one that made me who I am today and now he's gone. I feel like I should have done something differently." Came the pained reply.

"Jim, there is nothing you can do to alter the past and at the time, there was nothing you could do to change his future, I assure you. You saved lives by destroying jumpship 208. I'm also very sorry to hear about Tarsus. It was horrendous." Spock comforted.

Kirk smiled. Spock was always there to make things better for him. He very hesitantly spoke. "Spock...uh...would you mind?" He laid down, his fingers reaching up to touch his hair. The Vulcan eyed him curiously then reached up to brush the locks once more. "Thank you.. You're a good friend." Kirk whispered as he slipped back into a restful sleep. The Vulcan moved to tuck him in again and stroked a thumb down his cheek. His own eyes began to feel incredibly heavy studying the sleepy human.

* * *

Despite the circumstances, Kirk managed to convince Admiral Marcus to reinstate him as captain of the Enterprise. They were chasing down Harrison to Qo'noS, the capital planet of the Klingon Empire. 

Kirk smiled at Spock as they met and entered the shipyard. He rolled his eyes at the sudden angry voice that followed them. "Jim, where the hell were you? You missed your damn medical exam!" McCoy fumed as he approached.

"Bones, I'm fine." He groaned.

"Like hell you are. Spock, why didn't you drag him in or something? You have triple the strength, you pointy eared idiot." The doctor snapped. Spock quirked an eyebrow.

Kirk turned to face him. "Honestly Bones, I'm fine. Now let's go." He insisted. McCoy rolled his eyes and followed.

They boarded the shuttle, taking their seats. McCoy sat behind Kirk and leaned over as he began running his tricorder across the captain's body. He also poked him in various places. "Would you get that thing off me Bones?" Kirk complained. The doctor slapped the side of his head in reply and carried on scanning. "Sorry, _mom_." Kirk sassed, earning a chuckle from the doctor. Spock was sat next to him, leaving an empty chair between them.

"Captain. Thank you, for requesting my reinstatement." he said softly.

Kirk looked to him and smiled. "You're welcome." he replied. 

"As I am again your first officer, it is now my duty to strongly object to our mission parameters." The Vulcan mentioned.

Kirk laughed. "Of course it is, commander."

"There is no Starfleet regulation that condemns a man to die without a trial. Something you're forgetting. Not to mention, what firing torpedoes at the Klingons will cause." He fretted.

"Spock we're firing one torpedo, at one person, a mass murderer. You said so yourself that the area is uninhabited. Plus, this isn't a Starfleet order, remember?" Jim retorted.

McCoy stuck his head over the chair. "Wait a minute, we're firing _torpedoes_ at the _Klingons_? Are you out of your goddamn minds?" He hissed, before dropping back and continuing to assess Jim. "I don't know why I follow these two morons." He complained to himself. Jim grinned.

"Regulations aside Captain, this is morally wrong." Spock expressed.

"Well, pulling your ass out of a volcano was morally right, but I didn't win any points for that." He sulked. He was still pissed about the Nibiru incident.

The tricorder readings started rising rapidly. "Calm down." McCoy snapped.

Kirk glared at him. "No! I'm not going to sit and take ethics lessons from a robot!"

"Reverting to name calling suggests that you are defensive and therefore find my opinion valid." Came the cool reply. Jim rolled his eyes, he was done with the argument. _'Stupid Vulcan.'_

Spock was about to speak further, when a beautiful blonde nipped in and took the seat between them. He frowned.

"And who might you be?" Kirk asked.

"Science Officer Wallace. I have been assigned to the Enterprise by Admiral Marcus." She informed.

Kirk took her file and read through it, noting that she was a weapons specialist. "Impressive credentials, but redundant now that I am back on the Enterprise." Spock scowled. The Vulcan was fully fuming and he was showing it. It gave Kirk a glint in his eye. He liked seeing Spock jealous. "Well, the more the merrier." He smirked. He almost burst into laughter at the look Spock gave her. It was as if he were trying to make her combust in to flames with the glare. He'd never seen that side of the Vulcan. He grinned the whole way to the Enterprise whilst Spock looked most displeased.

The second Kirk boarded, there were problems. Things became most heated when Scotty refused to sign for the torpedoes. He stated that he couldn't possibly sign for something when he had no idea what it was made of, what fueled it, or anything about it for that matter. "I have to say, I agree with Mr. Scott." Spock tried.

"Mr. Spock, report to the bridge, now." Jim snapped. The Vulcan gave a curt nod and made his way. He had something he needed to look in to.

"Jim, your vitals are way off!" Bones complained.

"Dr. McCoy, report to medbay, now." He snapped again. He could feel his stress levels rising rapidly, no wonder they were off. The doctor rolled his eyes and stomped off.

"What is it with people today?" he huffed. He approached Scotty who'd walked to the warp core. "This sir, is a radioactive catastrophe waiting to happen. A sudden shift in magnetic activity by firing an unknown payload could kill every living thing on this ship. And I can't believe this madman even got hold of my equation. Sir, this is a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!" Scotty whined.

Jim snapped. "Scotty, just sign for the damn torpedoes or get the hell off my ship!"

Scotty looked taken aback. How could the captain be so hurtful, it wasn't like him at all. He got lost in thought for a while, then regretfully handed Jim his PADD; he'd made his decision to leave. He turned back to the captain. "Jim. For the love of god. Don't use those torpedos." He begged, then walked away with Keenser in tow.

"Scotty? Scotty!" Jim called desperately. But the engineer ignored him. He sighed. He would have to make things up to his friend later. He hated seeing that devastated look, but this mission was far too important.

He was joined in the turbo lift by Uhura. She pulled him in to a quick, loose hug. "I'm so sorry about Admiral Pike." She consoled. "How are you?"

"Thanks. Actually, not great. Scotty just quit and Bones won't stop harassing me. I guess I can deal with those but Spock...Spock is questioning my every move and if I'm honest, I'm still pissed about the Nibiru incident. Sorry for complaining to you, but sometimes I just want to rip the bangs from his emotionless head." He whined.

She laughed. "He adores you captain and I know you adore him. You'll do the right, crazy thing, like you always do and things will be fine with you both. You really should discuss things though." As she finished speaking, the doors whooshed open and Spock was stood there. Uhura grinned and walked to her station. "Ears burning?" Kirk winked as they walked passed. Spock frowned at his back.

"Keptin on ze bridge." Chekov called. Jim strolled over to let him know that he would be the new chief engineer; seeing as he'd been shadowing Scotty. "Aye, captain." Chekov acknowledged weakly, then went to his new position. Jim sat in his chair, checking everything was running smoothly and passing it with Spock.

Once it was all checked out, "Take us out Mister Sulu." he commanded. The helmsman grinned and set to work.

Uhura opened a shipwide broadcast so Jim could give everyone the down-low. "As you all know, former captain of the starship Enterprise and our friend, Christopher Pike, was recently murdered. The man that killed him has fled our system and is hiding in the Klingon homeworld Kronos. We are heading there now. It is essential that we go unnoticed, we cannot start an all out war." He paused to look at Spock. He stared into the beautiful brown Vulcan eyes. He sighed. He'd made up his mind. "I will personally lead a landing party to the surface of Kronos, where we will capture Harrison and bring him back to Earth to await trial... Alright, let's get this son of a bitch. Operation capture is a go, Kirk out." He ended the transmission, sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

Spock stood and approached him. "Captain, I believe you have made the right decision. If I could be of assistance, I would be be happy to accompany you on the away team." He informed. Jim smirked. "You, happy huh? Sure. Thank you Spock." He knew the Vulcan hated him being in the landing party without him and this was his subtle way of begging to go.

The Vulcan gave a curt nod and swiftly left the bridge. He made his way down to the weapons bay, where the torpedoes were being kept. He'd done some research when he'd first arrived and had to discuss his findings. He approached '"Miss Wallace" as she was studying one of the devices. She almost jumped out of her skin when she noticed him stood there. "Why are you aboard this ship, Miss _Marcus_? There is no record of you ever being assigned to the Enterprise. Also, Wallace is your mother's name. So I can only assume that Admiral Marcus is your father." he interrogated. She shot him a fearful look. "Please! He can't know I'm here." She begged. She tried to justify herself but was cut short when the whole ship shunted and shook. Almost knocking them straight off their feet.

Back on the bridge, Kirk was trying to find out what the hell was going on. Sulu stated that they had manually dropped out of warp and that they were still twenty minutes from Qo'noS. "Chekov, have you broken my ship?" Kirk groaned.

"I'm sorry ser, ze core overheated, I had to activate ze emergency stop! It must be a coolant leak, I need time to find it." the boy ranted.

"Oh, shoot." Kirk cursed to himself. Extra time in enemy space was not what they needed. He called Spock and Uhura, letting them know they would be in his landing party and where to meet him. He gave Sulu the comms and instructed him to threaten Harrison with the torpedoes. "You're gonna do great." He grinned before leaving.

McCoy followed closely. "Jim, this is not a good idea. You don't go to rob a bank when your getaway car has a flat tire." he emphasized.

"We're gonna be fine, Bones. Chekov will have things up and running in no time and Sulu is gonna do great. You'll see." He beamed. The doctor huffed and walked back to the bridge. Kirk went to change, then made his way down to shuttle bay two.

"Sulu to shuttle bay two. Please have the trade ship we confiscated in the Mudd incident a month ago, re-fuelled and ready to go. Captain's on his way." Sulu's voice rang throughout the ship. Kirk ordered his two security members to remove their red shirts, stating they couldn't be tied to Starfleet in any way or they would start an all out war. He smiled at Spock and Uhura, they were already appropriately dressed. He couldn't help but linger his eyes on Spock; the Vulcan looked _hot_. He couldn't help the little blush that formed when Spock looked at him. He was definitely giving the Vulcan bedroom eyes.

* * *

They approached the planet. It was stormy, dusty and barren as far as the eye could see. It was full of caves; most of them a very substantial size. Spock located Harrison's position and Kirk instructed Sulu to send his threat. He did damn good. Kirk knew he would.

"We will arrive at Harrison's location in three minutes Captain. I calculate the odds of him attempting to kill us at 91.6 percent." Spock informed.

Kirk sighed. "Fantastic." He murmured.

"Well, it's a good thing you don't care about dying." Came Uhura's catty response. Kirk's jaw dropped. He was supposed to be the one mad about the Nibiru incident, not her.

"I would prefer not to discuss this now." The Vulcan stiffly answered.

"Well, I'm only saying what Jim's thinking, you know you two need to be more honest with each other." She explained.

"Oh thanks for that. Though, she is right, ya know." Kirk admitted.

She glanced over her shoulder. "In that volcano, you didn't give any thought for any of us. You didn't feel anything and you didn't care." She murmured. Kirk's heart ached. She stated exactly what he felt.

"Nyota, Jim, your suggestions that I don't care are incorrect. It is true that I chose not to feel anything, but you both mistake my choice not to feel, as a reflection of my not caring. I assure you both, the truth is precisely the opposite." He explained sadly. "Vulcans' emotions are substantially greater than humans. It is because of this that we choose to control and avoid emotions in the first place. The consequences of too much raw emotion can be extreme. I do care."

Kirk and Uhura were silent. They hadn't expected such a deep explanation. "Spock..." Kirk started, when the ship harshly jolted. They'd been shot and were being pursued by a Klingon vessel. "Dang!" Kirk cursed. "Spock, give me all six fuel cells." He called. He maneuvered trying to escape it, flying through various tunnels and gaps. But it was constantly on their tail. He flew into another large underground network of caves and abandoned buildings; ducking and diving the small trading ship anywhere he could.

He aimed for a small gap in the far wall and flew at it at top speed. It was barely big enough for their ship.

"Captain, we won't fit." Spock warned.

"We will fit." Kirk cried.

"We won't fit!"

"WE WILL FIT, WE WILL FIT!" the captain shouted as they slammed through the small space.

They bashed off the walls a couple of times but made it out safely. Jim released the breath he'd been holding. "See. We did fit." He boasted.

"I'm not sure that qualifies." Spock remarked.

Suddenly, the room lit up. They were surrounded by three enemy ships, shouting orders at them in Klingon. "They want us to land." Uhura panicked.

Kirk sighed. "So much for uninhabited, Spock."

"It must be a patrol, sir."

They landed and discussed a plan that hopefully wouldn't get them tortured and killed. Uhura was their only chance. It was the exact reason he brought her. Jim squeezed her shoulders. "Be careful. We've got your back and you've got this." He reassured. She nodded and stepped out of the ship cautiously. Kirk grabbed everyone a phaser and watched intently.

Uhura approached the leader and spoke clearly in Klingon. She informed them about the war criminal they were pursuing and explained that he could pose a serious threat to them also. She gave a brave speech. She remained tall and proud as she spoke, showing no weakness at all. But it wasn't enough. The leader was too disgusted by her human form to listen. He grabbed her by the throat and went to stab her. Jim gasped and moved to run out.

As they left the shuttle, a loud bang echoed through the room and shots rained down on them. The leader let Uhura go and she stabbed him in the leg to escape. She turned to see a hooded stranger shooting at them, then ran for cover. Spock, Jim and the two security members were already attacking and helping in the fight. The red rays lit up the room. They all ducked for cover, attacking any enemy that came across them with a mixture of firepower and hand to hand combat. The hooded figure shot down the Klingon ships with ease. Luckily he was taking most of the enemies down.

Kirk shot several Klingons before ducking down a narrow path. He came into contact with another enemy that knocked his phaser away and proceeded to chase him. He evaded every swing, getting in a few punches of his own before stumbling backwards and falling. The Klingon jumped on him and began battering his fragile human body. Klingons were double the strength of humans.

Spock saw the struggle. He sprinted over and knocked the enemy out with one punch he was so furious. "You just knocked out a Klingon with one hit!" Kirk rasped from the floor. He was _definitely_ giving Spock bedroom eyes. "I'm stronger and he shouldn't have touched you." Spock grinned and held out his hand for his captain to take.

As Kirk grasped it, the waves of warmth and pleasure that ran through them were overpowering. His breath hitched. Spock yanked him into an embrace, pulling his hand away to wrap it protectively around Kirk's waist. Kirk's arms were wrapped loosely around his neck. Their faces were inches apart. Time seemed to slow as they gazed at each other under the red rain of bullets. Kirk could barely breathe, all he wanted to do was _kiss_ _him_. Spock felt pleasure rush over him from the lusty look on Jim's face. He edged closer. So close. Kirk's eyes slid shut. The moment came to a sad halt when they were tackled to the floor by another angry Klingon. Spock brought his arm up to shield them and took four heavy hits.

Uhura came to the rescue and shot the enemy. "There you are!" She gasped. Spock dragged Jim up by the arm and they ran for safety. Kirk collapsed by a rock in exhaustion and Uhura sat with him. Spock bent down and placed a hand on his captain's arm and the other on his leg, protectively covering him. He quickly scanned the area. Uhura's eyes softened, the Vulcan was so much closer to Kirk than he even realised. Spock noted a gun nearby and ran to grab it, returning and crouching in front of his team.

The hooded figure finally revealed himself. It was that bastard Harrison. He took out the last few Klingons with some fancy hand to hand combat and knife skills, then picked up a weapon and approached the three. Uhura clutched to Kirk's arm and Spock stood in front of them protectively. "Stand down!" He demanded, steadily aiming at the man.

Harrison powered forward and shot the weapon from Spock's hand. He began ranting and raving about the torpedos. "How many are there?" He finally shouted. Spock turned to his captain, then looked back at him. "Seventy two." He clarified calmly.

"I surrender." Harrison stressed, throwing down the gun. Spock took it and aimed at him again. Kirk slowly stood up, his battered body aching. He approached the murderer. "On behalf of Christopher Pike, my friend, I accept your surrender." He declared. He went to turn away but instead, spun back, throwing his fist into Harrison's face. He punched him several times with as much force as his bruised body would allow and got some good kicks in. Harrison just stood there unwavering. He was like a machine. Jim gasped for breath as he kept trying to beat him, his attacks becoming weak. "Captain!" Uhura cried, trying to bring him to his senses before he passed out. Spock grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Captain." Harrison drawled; his voice like ice.

Jim retreated, a worried look on his face. "Cuff him." He rasped to Spock and made his way to the shuttle.

* * *

The following hours were the most confusing ones of Kirk's life. Carol Wallace was actually Carol Marcus and, together, she and Bones had unraveled the secret of the torpedoes. Cryotubes were hidden inside each and every one of them, and their occupants were all over 300 years old. Kirk had returned to Harrison's cell with Spock and demanded an explanation, and

Harrison explained that there were men and women in every torpedo, he had put them there himself. He explained that he was a genetically engineered superhuman, designed to lead others to peace in a war. But they were condemned as criminals and forced into exile. They had slept for centuries until Marcus had found them adrift and revived him. He'd tried to use him as a weapon and when it went wrong, he invented the name Harrison.

Harrison didn't exist.

"My name...is Khan." He hissed darkly.

It made Kirk's blood run cold. "Why would an admiral need a three hundred year old frozen man to do some dirty work for him?"

"Because I am better, I am superior. I am faster, stronger and more intelligent than any human." he seethed. He glanced at Spock like he was an insect. "How could you be expected to break bone?" he mocked. He turned his attention back to Kirk. "Marcus tried to get you to fire those torpedoes on enemy land and now he's crippled you in enemy space. The Klingons would come and destroy you without any hope of escape. Marcus would finally have the war he always wanted."

Kirk snapped. Spock realized that his captain's feelings from Tarsus IV were probably surfacing and making it worse. "No! You are a goddamn murderer. I watched you kill those unarmed officers and civilians without a care. You have destroyed so many lives!" he screamed at him.

Khan looked away. "I had to because my crew were being held hostage by Marcus. I had no choice." He turned back to Kirk with a tear rolling down his face. "My crew is my family. Is there anything you wouldn't do for your family?" He sadly asked.

Kirk couldn't answer. He looked at Spock for a good few seconds, then looked away. His mind fleeted again to the thought of Tarsus IV. Spock didn't miss the fact that Jim had looked at him when Khan mentioned family. It made him feel warm inside. They were interrupted by Sulu's voice. "Sir there's a ship at warp heading straight for us, but not from Kronos." He warned.

Khan gazed at him. "We both know who that is." He hissed.

Kirk ordered Khan be moved to medbay and placed under high security. He ran back to the bridge with Spock in tow. "Sulu, shields." He called as he jumped in his chair. He was just in time to witness the enormous unmarked ship drop out of warp right in front of them. He gazed at it in shock. Uhura let him know they were hailing. He asked her to broadcast it ship wide so that it was logged. He put on his best game face.

Admiral Marcus appeared on the screen. Jim filled with dread, but didn't show it. "Admiral Marcus. I wasn't expecting you. That's one helluva ship you've got." He grinned.

"And I wasn't expecting to get word that you'd violated your orders and taken Harrison in to custody." Marcus seethed.

"Well. We had to improvise when our warp core unexpectedly malfunctioned. But you already knew that, didn't you sir." He questioned. Sulu notified him that Marcus was scanning their ship.

Kirk smirked. "Is there something I can help you find?"

"Where is your prisoner?"

"I'm planning on returning _Khan_ to earth to stand trial."

The Admiral's look darkened. "Ah sh*t. You spoke to him." He went on to explain how dangerous Khan and his crew were and that they had to be put to immediate death. "He's playing you son. Give him to me, this is your last chance." He growled.

Kirk sighed. "Khan's in engineering. I'll have him moved to the transporter room right away." He ended the transmission and warned Sulu not to drop the shields.

"Captain, given your awareness of Khan's true location in sickbay, can I know the details of your plan?" Spock asked.

"I told you we're taking the fugitive back to Earth. So that's exactly what we're gonna do." He replied and opened communications to engineering. "Mr. Chekov, can we warp?"

"Ser, if we warp, we run ze risk of seriously damaging ze core. We can do it, but I would not adwise it." The Russian replied.

"Noted! Mr. Sulu, set course for Earth. Punch it." He commanded.

They were in warp for thirty seconds when Carol ran on the bridge. "Captain, he will catch up and you're going to need to use me to save your ship." She cried.

"Relax. That's impossible." Kirk replied before Sulu interrupted him.

"Sir, I'm getting a reading I don't understand."

The large ship had indeed caught up. Shock spread across every face on the bridge. The warship sped over them and attacked, making the whole ship shudder. It shot them a few more times, forcing them violently out of warp.

"Where are we." Kirk rasped. Sulu notified him that they were still too far. They were closer to Earth's moon. The enemy ship wouldn't stop firing. He had to use Carol. Uhura hailed Marcus again.

When Marcus appeared, he was shocked to see her on the ship. She tried her best to comfort him and beg him to stop, to do the right thing. She threatened that she would stay on the ship no matter what he did, but he wasn't having it. He laughed as he managed to beam her straight from the bridge to his ship. Everyone shared panicked looks.

"USS Enterprise. Because you have gone rogue on enemy territory, I have had no option but to chase you down and eliminate you. Lock phasers." He growled.

"Hold on!" Kirk cried. "I'm sorry. These actions were mine and mine alone. Please, spare my crew and I'll do anything you want.. Please sir.. Let them live." He begged. Spock watched him with sad eyes.

The admiral smirked. "That's one hell of an apology, but if it was any consolation, I was never going to let them live." He chuckled and terminated the feed.

Kirk turned to his crew, looking at each one. "I'm so sorry." He wavered. The crew looked devastated. His gaze landed on Spock. He could see curiosity and sadness lingering in the Vulcan's eyes.

"Sir! Their weapons have powered down!" Sulu exclaimed. Kirk shot him a puzzled look. 

Scotty's voice flooded through the ship. "Sir, you'll never guess what I found behind Jupiter." He sang.

"Scotty! You're on that ship?!" Kirk shouted; eyes beaming with happiness and relief. He knew he could count on his friend. Scotty had sabotaged the ships weapons systems buying them some time. He walked over to Spock and winked. The Vulcan was right, Scotty didn't let him down. "How's our ship?" He asked.

"Our actions are limited. We cannot fight and we cannot flee." Spock informed.

"Right, I already have a plan. You take over." He squeezed Spock's shoulder and walked away. He already knew Spock would be incredibly upset that he was going in a landing party without him. It was always the same.

Spock had a feeling of dread. He marched behind Kirk closely, ranting and objecting to his plan. He didn't need to be informed on what was happening to gather an idea. Jim would be endangering his life, boarding the enemy ship and trusting Khan; the very man they were sent to destroy. Spock put up a good argument but Kirk wasn't having any of it; he just carried on walking. The Vulcan felt his stress levels rising.

Kirk sighed. "I told you, I'm the one using Khan, not the other way around. It'll be fine."

"I will go with you." Spock demanded.

Kirk frowned. "No. I need you on the bridge."

They turned down another hall. "It is too dangerous for you, captain. How exactly will you get there, even if he does agree to help?"

Kirk shrugged. "We're going through the airlock."

"Captain, too much could go wrong. There is an abundance of debris and it is an incredibly small door. Your chances of survival would be low, even with perfect guidance."

"Drop it, Spock, I'm going. The chance won't be that low." Kirk growled and quickened his pace.

Spock sighed deeply and grabbed Kirk's shoulder, roughly dragging him into the storage room next to them and using his override to lock it. "I cannot allow you to do this." He snapped. For once, he wasn't concealing his emotion. Fear and sadness swamped his eyes. It made Jim's heart ache.

"Look, Spock, I know this is not logical and I know it's hard for you to understand, but it's a gut feeling. I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I only know what I can do. The Enterprise needs someone who knows what they're doing and that's not me, It's you. Our ship and crew need you." He soothed.

He reached up to wrap his arms around Spock's neck and pulled him into a hug. Spock's arms slipped around his waist. "Take care of them for me." Kirk whispered.

Spock tightened his hold. "I need to take care of you." he murmured. 

The following hours were the best ones of Kirk's life.

* * *

Kirk strolled in to sickbay with the biggest smile on his face. He was beaming. McCoy had just injected Khan's blood into a dead tribble to study its effects. He stopped to frown at his best friend. "Why are you so damn happy? Everything is going to sh*t." He lightly scolded. _I bet the hobgoblin finally confessed!_

Kirk rolled his eyes. "Trouble with your tribble? Maybe if you give it a kiss it'll wake up." He grinned.

"Cheeky sh*t." Bones scoffed and got back to work.

Kirk proceeded to speak to Khan. His happiness quickly faded and his look darkened. "Tell me everything you know about that ship." He ordered.

"The USS Vengeance. Dreadnought class, twice as big, three times as fast, and far more heavily armed than the Enterprise. Modified for a minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, _he_ is built solely for combat." he stated. 

"Whoa." exclaimed Kirk, then said "Wait a second...he?" 

"When I began designing that ship, I wanted it to be...different." said Khan. 

"OK." Kirk replied. "Alright, tell me...what else is he?" 

"The wind beneath my butterflies, the sparkling glitter glow of my eyes." 

That statement shocked everybody. "So what you're saying is... _you're in love with the ship?!_ " Kirk blurted out. 

"That is correct." replied Khan, uncharacteristically calm. "We are both weapons of war, he and I. That caused me to be drawn to him. Now I can't picture a life without him, when we were separated, it was the worst moment of my life." 

"Alright. Then, howzabout I help you reunite with the love of your life?" said Kirk, and began explaining his crazy plan to board the other ship. 

"Dammit Jim, why do you have to do crazy, suicidal sh*t all the time?" Bones whined.

"I'll be fine, _mom_." Kirk laughed in reply and slung his arm over his friend's shoulder in a sloppy side-hug before leaving for the airlock with Khan.

* * *

The two managed to board the Vengeance, where Scotty was waiting. What happened next was a total disaster. Khan had killed Admiral Marcus, and betrayed the Enterprise crew. 

The red alert rang through the halls. Scotty helped Carol as she was injured and Kirk stumbled along next to them. They headed for medbay. The whole ship shook, almost knocking them off their feet a few times.

"Prepare for proximity damage." Spock's voice called over the system.

"What does he mean?!" Scotty shouted.

"He's armed the damn torpedoes!" Jim shouted. There was a huge explosion and their ship violently swayed. The attack stopped. The USS Vengeance had been taken down.

They entered sickbay. "Bones! You set off the torpedoes? I actually can't believe Spock would kill Khan's crew." He rasped.

McCoy grinned. "He didn't kill them. Check it out. 72 human popsicles!" He boasted.

"Son of a bitch!" Kirk rasped, smiling. He grabbed a communicator. Bones smiled and grabbed him in a one armed hug, watching the pain creep across his face. "Don't do anything as stupid as that again okay?" He lightly scolded and tended to his injuries, starting with his ribs. 

Kirk chuckled. "You know I will. I always do. I've gotta take care of everyone."

McCoy rolled his eyes with a smile. Jim opened the communicator. "Spock, we're back and in sickbay." He called through. Before he could get a reply, there was another rough shake and power went out all around the ship. The Enterprise began to fall, but in the end, it rose back up...with the cost of Kirk's life. 

Upon realizing this,

Spock choked out a breath and tears lined his eyes. He felt like he was drowning. This could not be happening. James T. Kirk was infallible, nothing could happen to him, he couldn't be beaten. Spock hesitantly walked to the glass door. Kirk had collapsed and was closing the inner door. "OPEN IT!" He shouted at Scotty. His tears threatening to spill. He became blinded by the raw emotion. His logic failing, he just wanted to save his...his everything.

"I'm sorry sir, but the door is locked. The decontamination process needs to finish." Scotty murmured with a broken voice.

Spock sunk to his knees, tapping on the glass to let Jim know he was there. Jim's breathing came in short pants, his eyes unfocused. He was suffering and it shattered Spock's heart. He knew his love wasn't going to make it, no matter what anyone did.

Kirk focused his eyes to look at Spock. At the recognition of seeing him, a beautiful smile appeared on his face. "Spock!" he rasped, happiness evident in his voice. "How's our ship?"

Spock gave a small wobbly smile in return. "Out of danger. You saved us all." He choked; tears filling his eyes again. Kirk was fading quickly.

Kirk shot him his trademark bedroom eyes and grinned. "You used what he wanted against him. That's a nice move." He purred. Even on death's door, he was still his perfect, cheeky, human self. Spock breathed a tiny laugh as a stray tear fell. He quickly wiped it away.

Kirk's smile widened.

Spock gazed at him brokenly. "You should not be here, Jim. It should be me. I never should have let you go."

"No. Don't you dare do that to yourself. This was my choice. This is not on you, I promise you. Nothing you did could have changed this outcome." He rasped. He stopped to breathe for a few seconds and squeezed his drowsy eyes shut before opening them again. He was fighting to stay alive. Fighting for a little longer with Spock. "How...how do you choose not to feel?" He whimpered.

"I do not know...Right now, I am failing." he cried mournfully; his tears finally falling. "I cannot lose you...I will lose everything."

It tore Jim's heart to pieces seeing Spock like that. Tears built in his own eyes. "I want you to know why I couldn't let you die. Why I went back for you." He breathed.

"Because I am your friend." Spock sobbed.

Kirk smiled, then looked regretful. His breathing became heavy and slow. He struggled to speak. He rolled his head slightly side to side "No." He croaked. He shakily brought his hand up to the glass. "Feel." He whispered.

Spock shakily brought his own hand up and placed it in line with Jim's. He focused on picking up Jim's energy and when he did, he was flooded. It took over his whole being. Fear, pain, regret.. and love. A bright and burning love, stronger than any he'd ever felt. A love that easily rivaled his own. Jim was in love with him.

He gasped.

Kirk shakily smiled at his realization. He watched Spock with so much love, adoration and sadness. He took a deep, labored breath and tears began to fall as he said his final words.

"I'm sorry I broke your heart."

Spock held his hand to Kirk's and placed his forehead on the glass, letting his tears fall. "Jim!" He cried, silently pleading him to stay.

Kirk's last few breaths came in slow painful wheezes, then he just couldn't breathe any more. The light left his beautiful eyes as he slipped away.

"No.. .no, not yet. Stay with me Jim, please, I beg of you. Do not leave me. I need you here.. Please don't go...I love you." Spock cried, but it was too late, his love was already gone. He let out a blood curdling cry and sunk into himself. "I love you Jim...I love you." He mourned. His sobs filled the air. "I love you." He breathed again.

His friends held each other and cried as they watched. Nobody knew what to do.

Spock cried for fifteen minutes before a blood-boiling anger began to rise. He could feel it, crawling up, bubbling through his veins, completely taking a hold of him. "KHAAAAAAAAAN!" He screamed. He hit the wall so hard that it cracked.

Spock was on a warpath. His friends wanted to help so they wiped their tears, straightened their uniform and followed him straight to the bridge.

McCoy didn't Follow. He staggered over and knelt by the core's door, placing his hand on it. "I'm so sorry kid. I'm so very sorry." He croaked. He stumbled numbly back to sickbay, imagining a life without his best friend.

* * *

Spock’s heart raced as he chased down Khan through the streets of San Francisco. He was gaining on the man and it would only be a matter of time before he had his hands around his throat. 

Back on the Enterprise, McCoy was sat in his office softly sobbing into his arms when he felt something brush against him. He glanced up with a frown. The tribble he'd injected with Khan's blood moved and purred. It had revived. "Get me a cryotube, NOW." He shouted. He began planning to save his best friend with the help of Carol. They were due to bring Kirk's body in any minute. He desperately tried to contact Spock but had no luck. He needed Khan's blood. "McCoy to bridge, I can't reach Spock! I need Khan here and I need him alive, NOW. Someone get that son of a bitch on board. I think we can save Jim." He shouted down the comms unit.

Meanwhile, Spock and Khan had ended up on top of a moving shuttle. Khan was immediately on him, knocking the phaser from him and grabbing him up. Spock grunted as he was thrown against a raised edge but quickly recovered and advanced on Khan, throwing punches and trying to get a grip on him.

He finally was able to grab Khan’s neck in a nerve pinch but found that he was able to withstand it. Spock growled as he got Khan down onto his knees and was about to punch him again when Khan grabbed his hand and wrenched it back.

Spock took a punch and then knocked Khan back. 

Khan's face was a bloody mess and his clothes torn. They eyed each other hatefully. "All this because I roughed up your boyfriend a little bit." he grinned.

Spock's stare was ice cold. "He isn't roughed up; he is dead. You took him from me." he seethed.

"Oh my. No wonder you're coming at me with such...passion." Khan purred and gave a dark, twisted, smirk. "That makes two of us, I guess."

Not really knowing or caring what he meant, Spock used one hand to grip Khan’s wrist while his other went to the man’s meld points. As he did that, he found something out...something so straight up illogical that he couldn't help but have a say. 

"You..." said Spock. "Of all things! You were in love with a starship, and now...it's gone." Realization slowly dawned on the Vulcan as he realized that he was the one who set those torpedoes off and crippled the Vengeance, causing it to crash. 

"Just finish me." Khan said. 

"No." replied Spock, then wrapped both of his arms around his enemy. "As you said earlier, that makes two of us." 

They just sat there and held each other for a while, crying uncontrollably over the loss of their loved ones. For a minute, they heard a woman's voice saying "what the hell are you doing", but they were too lost in their grief to pay attention. 

The voice belonged to none other than Uhura. "We need him alive, he's our only way to save Kirk." 

_And so I asked myself, "Do I love you so much,_

_That I'm willing to let you go?"_

_And at the tip of my tongue, the answer was "yes",_

_But at the bottom of my heart, I'm wondering,_

_Did I say that?_

_Did I say that?_

_Sometimes you know I overreact,_

_And what I say is not a matter of fact,_

_I wish that I could take it all back._


End file.
